I am in the middle of the Chemo..

I delayed writing this post. I started several times but I have not managed to complete it.

Last week I had a cold that turned me down.

My blood tests, however, were good enough for me to receive the last of AC chemotherapy (adriamicine cytoplasmine or as Denis and I have called it: Hadrian. It was my  Farewell to Hadrien

I'm halfway done on the Chemo ..

The trouble is that this fourth treatment was really tough on me.

I'm exhausted, immense incredible fatigue..

I can barely walk .. This morning we walked an hour but I was hanging like a tired snail.

Yesterday I managed to go to my yoga class and after, I felt like a mountain climber who had just arrived at the summit of incredible Everest .. All what  seemed obvious to me has become almost superhuman effort.

I also feel a total loss of appetite. I have a metal taste in the mouth. The bright side of things is that I have lost weight! Lia even convinced me to buy me a cute little dress ..

In recent days I have a sore throat and I find it hard to swallow .. Suzy yesterday toured pharmacies in Hod Hasharon for me to find homeopathic remedies alongside with telephone support from our expert in homeopathic care, Sophie. It is a little better today ...

Finally, the big downside is the moral .. I was told so but I was hoping to slip through the net. I have recurrent and pessimistic thoughts. I feel in a endless tunnel and I have trouble to project myself into the future after the treatment .. Yet I am working hard on myself.

Suzy told me how to address these evil thoughts .. When I feel exhausted after a dinner resumed to one artichoke. Thanks Laurence! I appeal to the discouraging thoughts by explaining that digestion is hard work for everyone and there is nothing to dramatize . When going upstairs seems impossible mission I recall right away that a wonderful mattress awaits me at the top of the stairs and near him an ultra neat pile of books is waiting for me! I am lucky to have time to have full legitimation to read such good books (to name just a few: And Nietzche wept, Eldorado, the old man who did not want to celebrate his birthday, if happiness, So beautiful, so fragile ..)

Today, I told my friend Noga I would like to organize a fun party with great music and good catering to celebrate my recovery with all the friends and relatives who support us, nurture us and encourage us in these difficult days. . I think several times a day at this Party .. I call it into my mind when swallowing or saying two words seem insurmountable challenges ..

In short, this is called the accumulative effect.

And if you want to understand what it is about here is information in English:

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/

Yet I am so surrounded .. Denis first who gives me so much love and never loses patience, despite my mood swings. Our children who give me the strength to get up when it seems impossible. Sophie, who arrived from Switzerland and visits me often. Our friends from the community who continue to feed us and invite us. Their kindness is overwhelming! My sisters that call me so often, come to visit me and amuse children .. My team and colleagues that work so hard because of me being so weak..
And these emails and calls from colleagues and friends from near and far. These gifts sent to me: thank you Julie, Shevy, Laurence, Audrey, Annie, Ktsia, Sophie ..

The Thank you list is so long for the last two weeks of delicious food, I hope I did not forget anyone: Bat Chen Geminer, Nicky, Tamar Gal-Naaman, Arbelle, Ossie, Etty Gutman, Natie, Avital Drori, Ziona, Avigail, Ilana Mushkin, Karni, Claire and Noga. THANK YOU!